my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My balls are so social today.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
