Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
