If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
