ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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