i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
