what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
