I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
