U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
