we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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