i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
