At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
