Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
