We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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