I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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