I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
