i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
