Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
