i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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