i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
