Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
