cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
