how can u be prego again
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
