yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
