its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
