I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
