I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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