I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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