I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
