turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
