I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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