she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
