you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
