She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
