But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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