I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
