I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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