Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
