Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
