she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
someone owes me an orgasm
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
