craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
