even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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