bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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