I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
