Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
