Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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