I think I am morally bankrupt
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
