just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
