Define "chronic" masturbator.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
