Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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