I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
