I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
