ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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