at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Alive.
So much puke
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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